Nostra Senyora de Gràcia

today i made cheesecake. it was meant to be caramel cheesecake with a chocolate base but 1) i couldn't find the metal base for the spirngform tin. 2) i ODed on the lemon juice 3) the oven's thermometer is faulty 4) it came out sunked in and curdy

:(((((

i think my obsession over x factor is reaching a ott kind of stage :S

i curse only on two occasions. ( 3 if you count reanacting the boomz girl's 'knnccb'.. go watch, she's hilarious! even my mom replayed that scene because it was so funny!)

1st occasion would be when i am seriously pissed off or bewildered in a bad way. situations as such - when i fell asleep in the train on the keisei line to wake up in the middle of some countryside far far away from the airport and thus missing my flight home. or when i bought ice cream home and fell asleep from studio fatigue before i could put it into the freezer.
2nd occasion would be when i'm trying to annoy or mimck conrad. for example, (in a whiney voice) the walk out is farking long are you sure you want me to go aloooone? or, i farking hate trains can we not take the train please? (epic-drama-esque sad face) coming to think about it, i really do not know why the pronouces 'fuck' as 'fark'.

anyhow, today i was presented with 2 fine, legit situations to curse. the fomer being an occasion that i shall not waste time on explaining. but it involved a group project whereby a useless male is in his own world and a xl > m,s,xs. sigh.
the latter being subway and having a nice long walk. hehe.

thank goodness for you.

i really need to do my essay but there is a mad f21 sale going on! ughhhh.

sometimes i get here, i type. i read the lines i've typed. i delete. i don't know if i'll wallow in self pity, don't know if basking in happiness is a dissolution. don't know if i'm just indulging in whatever feelings i have at that moment. sometimes i'm too proud to admit i've been defeated, that i'm down and hurt. or perhaps, too much of a pessimist to simply say that i'm happy and blessed.

today i realised how lousy i am with words. i've a disability to articulate my feelings proper in either speech or text. many times when i need an outlet of expression i get here only to stare at this blank screen, type, delete, type and eventually i'll close the text box or post something completely irrelevant. am i the only one like that? when i need a listening ear, someone appears and suddenly there is this impossibility in speech... sometimes when the pain gets too much to bear i burst into tears only to leave that crucial companion even more clueless. it is highly embrassing. but most situations feel much better after a good cry. the magnitude of the problem hasn't been altered, but perhaps we all have to live a little.

so tonight, i had a good cry.

Dance like no one is watching
Sing like no one is listening
Love like you've never been hurt and
Live like it's heaven on earth

am having an amazingly bad headache.

i am an architect